Schools are built for one address. Everything after that — the excursion form, the reading folder, the phone call at eleven in the morning — depends on two adults holding the same picture.
Put it in writing to the office: two email addresses, two phone numbers, both names on the emergency list. Most school systems allow it and most offices only need asking once. Until that happens, one parent is finding out about everything second-hand.
Send the original email, or the photograph of the note that came home in the bag. A retyped version is a version, and a version can be argued with. The original cannot.
Reading folder, library book, sports kit, hat, the thing due Thursday. A short written packing list at each house beats remembering, and it turns a forgotten item into a gap in a list rather than evidence about somebody’s character.
Splitting a project across two houses usually produces half a project twice. Pick the nights it happens at each home, tell the child the same thing at both addresses, and let the other parent stop policing it.
Go together if you can manage it. Teachers prefer it and children notice it. If you cannot, ask the office for two separate slots rather than one parent going and reporting back — second-hand feedback is where the misunderstanding starts.
The school rings one number and whoever answers collects. Agree in advance who that is on which days, make sure both numbers are actually on file, and tell the other parent within the hour, before the child does.
Reports, the reading level, the note from the learning support teacher, the excursion consent. Two homes means two piles, and two piles means a gap. One shared record removes the whole category of problem.
Email the office and ask for both parents on every list. Then agree the homework nights and write the packing list. That is most of it.